Please accept my profound apologies for the terrible inconvenience that I have caused over the past weeks. Ruth and I appreciate the support we have received.
-- Letter from Bernie Madoff to his neighbors
I wonder what kind of letters he'll be writing to the people in nearby cells once he gets to the pokie -- assuming he ever does get there.
Please accept these cigarets as an expression of my regret. I'm sorry I was screaming so loud last night when Bubba was beating me. I hope I didn't disturb your sleep too much. I used to give out expensive jewelry and other gifts, but I'm sure you understand.